It’s amazing how many stories an individual can hold, how many secrets they keep and how much sorrow they have suffered. It definitely is hard to shake off the first impression, but given a little time, the person will unfold their story. Just give it some time. We all have some sort of wall we build up when we meet someone new. We want to give them the best impression of ourselves to gain their friendship. To impress them. And on the receiving end, we tend to have expectations of the people we meet. It’s natural. Are we going to maintain the friendship? Do I like their company? Do they seem a little off? Stuff like that go through our mind when we discover a relationship forming. Many people tell you to just be yourself, but that’s one statement that is difficult to follow because no matter how hard you try, other things are gonna influence you. You might not think so, but you came to the conclusion of liking or disliking something through an influence of some sort, maybe even the slightest hint of it. People have a need to be liked, some way or another. We want to be accepted. We want to belong.
And on that note.. I don’t understand why people deceive you with tales and statements about themselves that aren’t even close to being true. I mean, I guess they do it to amp their chances at being your friend, but why bother? Why is there a need to lie? They never were really your friend to begin with. They basically are lying to themselves to be telling such fictitious tales. And for those who can hide it so well, how can they do it for so long? How do you live like that? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to tell the truth rather than keeping track of all the lies? If you stick around long enough, their story will unfold before your eyes.
This happened to me as I’m sure it has happened to everyone else. Some are just not meant to stick around long enough. You wouldn’t want to waste your time in a pseudo relationship with no concrete foundation anyway. It brings me pain and disappointment to have shared memories with someone and then come to realize I was attending a performance. How very unfortunate, right? Like they say, you learn lessons through the mishaps in life. Through those experiences, I told myself to never treat people that way. It’s unfair and distasteful. So leave them be and move on. You have better things to do and people worth spending time with.
You know, I wonder how I came to be. Too many inspirations. Too many role models. Too many mistakes I learned from. Nineteen, almost twenty, years worth of influences. I realized that I should thank everyone around me for helping me become who I am. Strangers, lovers and even those who brought negativity in my life. I thank the books I read, the songs I listen to, the conversations I had with the people I know or used to know. They have taught me to give what I can and to be as close to the truth as I can about myself. I want to be remembered. I want to be a positive influence and an inspiration. Not merely a passerby.